Saturday, September 6, 2008

Have you?

Have you told those you love, that you love them today?

Have you told them how wonderful they are?

Have you told them how beautiful they are?

Have you told them how special they are?

Have you told them how much they enrich your life, and how blessed you are to have them?

Do it before the day is through, and do it every day!



I often wonder what happened to my sanity. Wouldn't it be nice to have it back?

But then again.... Nahhh!



They say that patience is a virtue.

Since when have I ever been virtuous?



Most who know me believe me to be absolutely crazy.

Well, I can tell you that after my visit to the doctor today, I've found that they are all quite correct... I AM certifiably insane...

...and enjoying every moment of it!


Sunday, August 31, 2008


A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb

The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. ~Edgar J. Mohn

The truth is more important than the facts. ~Frank Lloyd Wright

The cruelest lies are often told in silence. ~Adlai Stevenson

I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't. ~Mark Twain

Lie to me, I'll know. Lie about me, you'll pay. ~LA


Honest hearts produce honest actions. ~ Brigham Young

Look a man in the eye and say what you really think, don't just smile at him and say what you're supposed to think.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. ~ Steve Landesber

The Witch's word is the Witch's bond. ~ LA

Do you know me? Or do you think you know me?

If you really know me, you know that I'm a friend to the end, and there is a love that you will never lose. If you think you know me, you hate me.



Redeem yourself by looking to being the best you can be and doing what is right in the present and future, not by trying to correct the past.


Sunday, August 24, 2008

I have a new hero... Way to go Mr. Ulrich!

By CHRISTOPHER S. RUGABER, AP Business Writer Sun Aug 24, 5:41 PM ET

WASHINGTON - It took seven years, but Charles Ulrich did something many people dream about, but few succeed at: He beat the IRS in a tax dispute.

Not only that, but tax experts say potentially millions of other taxpayers could benefit from his victory.

The accountant from Baxter, Minn., challenged the method the IRS has used for more than 20 years to tax shares and cash distributed by mutual life insurance firms to their policyholders when they reorganize as public companies.

A federal court recently agreed with his interpretation.

"There's a tremendous amount of money at stake," said Robert Willens, a New York City-based tax analyst at Robert Willens LLC. "Tens of thousands of people could be in line for a refund."

Don Alexander, an IRS commissioner in the 1970s and now a tax attorney in Washington, said while it's not unusual for individuals to take on the agency, "most of them lose."

Alexander called it "quite a significant case."

The dispute arose when more than 30 mutual life insurance companies became publicly traded corporations in the late 1990s and earlier this decade, in a process known as "demutualization."

Mutual companies are owned by their policyholders, so the companies provided stock and cash to compensate them for the loss of their ownership interests when they went public.

All told, roughly 30 million policyholders received distributions, Ulrich estimates. MetLife Inc. provided over $7 billion of stock to about 11 million policyholders when it went public in 2000, while Prudential distributed $12.5 billion in stock to another 11 million.

The IRS held that the recipients hadn't paid anything for the shares and owed taxes on the full amount when the shares were sold. Cash distributions also were fully taxable, the IRS said.

That didn't sound right to Ulrich, 72, an accountant for 49 years. He began researching the issue in 2001, when he received shares from two companies, Prudential and Indianapolis Life.

Ulrich concluded that policyholders had paid for their ownership rights through their premiums so the distributions should have been tax-free.

That could make a significant difference in what a taxpayer owes. If a company distributed shares worth $30 and a recipient subsequently sold them at $32, under the IRS' view they would pay taxes on all $32. Under Ulrich's interpretation, they would owe taxes only on the $2 per share gain.

In 2003, Ulrich publicized his views by contacting tax and insurance experts and setting up a Web site.

"Largely I was regarded as a lunatic," he said, who "would never prevail against the IRS."

Still, some people who'd paid taxes contacted Ulrich and asked him to file refund requests, which he did, for a fee. Some of those refunds were granted, he said. Tax experts say the IRS doesn't always closely scrutinize small refunds.

One of his clients, Jean Prevost and her husband, Jim, who live near Minneapolis, received a refund of almost $1,500 in federal and state taxes in 2003.

"It wasn't a huge amount of money, but it was ours," she said.

But the IRS wasn't pleased with Ulrich, accusing him of promoting abusive tax shelters and demanding the names of his clients, which he said he refused to provide.

The agency backed off in 2004 with help from the IRS's Taxpayer Advocate office, Ulrich said.
IRS spokesman Bruce Friedland said the agency is prohibited from commenting on its interactions with taxpayers.

One of Ulrich's clients, Eugene Fisher, a trustee for a Baltimore, Md.-based trust, sued the IRS in February 2004 after being denied a refund.

Judge Francis Allegra of the Court of Federal Claims in Washington sided with Fisher and called the IRS' view "illogical" in an Aug. 6 decision. He ordered the agency to refund $5,725 in taxes plus interest to the trust overseen by Fisher.

It's not clear how many people could benefit from the ruling. Many of the 30 million policyholders are probably too late to seek refunds, since claims must be filed within three years of the April 15 tax deadline. That means the statute of limitations for taxes paid for 2004 ran out April 15, 2008.

Many individual taxpayers may not have enough at stake to go to the trouble, said Burgess Raby, a Tempe, Ariz.-based attorney who represented Fisher. Still, millions of policyholders could benefit from the court's ruling, he said.

Raby credits Ulrich with being the driving force behind the issue.

"The genesis for this was Chuck's real feeling that this was an unfair position" by the IRS, Raby said.

The government could appeal the ruling and likely will fight future refund claims, perhaps hoping for a different outcome in a separate court, tax experts said.

Charles Miller, a spokesman for the Justice Department, said the government hasn't yet decided whether to appeal.

Still, taxpayers should request refunds if they're eligible, the tax experts said, because even if the IRS rejects the claim, doing so extends the deadline for a potential refund for two more years.

Ulrich will prepare refund requests for interested taxpayers, for a fee, and has posted additional information at his Web site, But he said the principle is more important to him.

"I think it's important that taxpayers' rights be protected," he said. "We should have had a Boston Tea Party over this."

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

What makes me smile?

When I walk in the door and the cat comes running to me, excited that I'm there and just wants be loved. Of course, she is quick to get a treat after the hugs, squeezes, and purring too.

To be continued...

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Sometimes it's good to just contemplate our lives. What is good with it, what is bad with it, what can be changed, for that matter, what should be changed or what should not be changed.

In doing so, it's very easy to be caught up in the day-to-day blahs and become burdened with all that troubles us.

Yes, those things are important. They can drain us and make us miserable. They can take the fun and satisfaction out of our lives. They must be dealt with, never ignored, difficult as that may be.

I've found, hard as it is many times, that to focus on what is good in our lives, what makes life worth living is even more important. Those blessings that are so easily overlooked when you're getting hit over the head with the battle-axe called mundane life.

What makes me smile?

What makes you smile?

... to be continued...


Thursday, June 12, 2008

Night Blessing

Mother of the Moon in blackened sky,
Your blessings you bring as here I lie.

Guide me safely through my dreams,
Enlightening my plans and my schemes.

As evenings' cloak envelops me,
I bless the earth the skies and sea.

When with morning's sun I rise,
Let Nature's beauty grace mine eyes.

As I close my eyes and count to three,
Blessed Be to mine and thee.


Lessons flowed to my spirit that day,
And these thoughts went through me swiftly,
As the black birds flocked above.
As they landed and looked upon me, they seemed to hear my mind.
And then off they went to their faraway places,
Carrying my thoughts away
Among the clouds and sky.

Flew away with my thoughts of doubt, panic, guilt and fear,
Past the flowing edge of the river they followed
That carried the images of my soul to the greater bodies of water.
And brought back to me as they returned, again they seemed to call,
See this now! Feel the coming of what is you!
New thoughts and glimmers of the bright lives you’ll have ahead!
Feel the oncoming freshness and embrace all that She has given you.
And learn from this, all of this.
All that is gone is not you anymore, cast as far from you as the East is from the West.
Doubt not, panic not, fear not and throw guilt aside.
All that is new is you, and even this will change.
Embrace the change, as the newness of spring comes alive again and again.
So is the newness of spring within you, again and again.


I Dare

Most beauteous love inside my heart doth come;
Though all encompassing I shall not fall.
Upon this eve our bodies so entwined,
The Gods our spirits and our flesh do call.
With raven's wings doth my heart merry beat,
And keeps such flight into the starry sky.
Into your world I verily retreat,
My will throughout this night to keep I try.
This perfect union surely must be blessed,
Else why are you a mirror in mine eyes?
To find you, kindred, I would not have guessed,
In this perfection, there, the mystery lies.
Ere to these yearnings I dare concede,
For in that fruit there lies that loving seed.



Come unto the green glade
Where thorny brambles part
The mossy mist enveloping
The passage to my heart.

It is now that I may show you
While stars in tandem fall,
Dancing merrily upon we two,
Forever does us call

The silent moonlight casting
Her shadows in the night
breaking silence, brilliant,
beckoning such light.

Two bodies now clandestine...
Everafter shall they be
Together 'neath the starry night,

The sky, just you and me.


Winds of Change

Soft winds blow,
Winds of change
through the darkness of night.
I see your sweet skin glow.
Mysteries of the soul unwind,
As the thickness of love and trust
Is spiraling down upon us,
enveloping body, spirit and mind...
The winds of change....
The promise of life...
As the burdening chains
Are cut and we're freed
to ponder the wonder of each other,
the mysteries that are within and without,
the mystery of mysteries,
and the Winds of change
Carry the promise of happiness...
and the most intimate gains of true love shared...
Such is the promise of two souls...
Wandering until the promise of one another is found...
In the Winds of Change...


Friday, June 6, 2008


Life has a way of swinging like the pendulum.

Right now, I hope that pendulum remains blissfully inanimate.

Right now, I am happy, loved, and I love.

Monday, May 5, 2008

For Mooch

Thank you...

There is a special place in our hearts for those we have loved, to those who have loved us without question, without a word or a promise...

There is a special place where there is no pain or fear, where love flows freely...

There is a special place that rests in our hearts forever.

You will be missed my Beagle Boy.


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

What are Gods?

It seems to me that most folk spend a great deal of time trying to answer that question, and a greater amount of time being more and more confused as the question is posed over and over again, only to receive more answers than one could shake their staff at!

Personally, I dare not ask the question. Some things I simply accept because they just are.

I have felt the gracefulness of their touch, the pain of their anger, the humility of their lessons, and the fear and joy of their presence.To say that they are conjured up within our imagination to me is simply an easy way out of seeking them in their truth and power.Yes, the human psyche can create a reality; after all, we do have the power of creation. But as far as creating that which is the foundation of the bloodline, well, that would be as ludicrous as believing I created my mortal mother and father!

I choose simply to know what I have experienced to be the truth of the matter, and seek the deeper knowledge that our God and Goddess have to offer, that which we already know, and only need to remember.

I will leave these theologies to those who wish to argue amongst themselves!


Friday, March 28, 2008


There's a snake coming out of the darkness.
Parade from paradise.
End the need for Eden,
Chase the dreams of merchandise.
There is tic and toc in atomic.
Leaders make a deal.
The cosmic is largely comic,
A con they couldn't conceal.
There is no safe seat at the feast,
Take your best stab at the beast.
The night is turning thin,
The saint is turning to sin.
Raise the art to resistance,
Danger dare to be grand.
Pride reduced to humble pie,
Diamonds down to sand.
Take heart from earth and weather.
The brightness of new birth.
Take heart from the harvest,
Shave the harvest from the earth.
Reasoning is partly insane,
Image just an eyeless game.
Miracles will have their claimers,
More will bow to Rome.
He and she are in the house,
But there's only me at home.
Rose is a rose of splendor,
Posed to respond in the end.
Lonely things like nights,
I find, end finer with a friend.
I hear in the rate of her heart.
A tear in the heat of the art.

Incenses and Oils

First, understand that many grimoires give elaborate instructions in obtaining ingredients for incenses, oils and spells. Pay no attention to these things.

Things like “collect the Vervain at the third hour of the Full Moon when Saturn is in Pisces, and only collect from the hallowed ground of a churchyard” would not make the Vervain any stronger. This long and drawn out instruction is given to sort the dabbler from the serious Witch. The Witch Proper knows to pay attention to the first part of the instruction, and ignore the latter.

It matters not where you obtain your ingredients. Obtain them any way you can in the most convenient way you can.

If you do get them from the wild, or from your garden, leave enough so that the plant can recover unless it is the final harvest of the season. Always thank the spirits of the land for their gift. A little bit of something as a gift is always good, and can be bread, wine, or something of you such as a drop of blood.

If you do harvest the herbs yourself, make sure you dry them completely before using them. Hanging them in the window in the sun is the best way that I’ve found.

Always know your herbs. If they are poisonous, use rubber gloves! Be mindful of the amount of the darker herbs that you use and their effect. Too much can be dangerous and sometimes even fatal.

Oils can be made if you wish to go through the trouble, but are found with a little bit of legwork much easier. The same goes for oils as with herbs. Know your oils and their effects before you use them. Again, gloves are appropriate for the darker oils.

Keep your herbs in clean jars with lids that seal. You can also use Zip-Loc bags. Keep them in a cool, dry location. Most will stay well for a good period of time. Label them well.

Oils should be kept in jars that seal as well. Keep them in a cool dark place. Make sure you mark them well with a marker that is permanent! Usually the best way is to label the top of the lid as oil tends to get onto the side of the container with use and will destroy any label.

Oils will stay good for about one year after the container is opened. After that they may spoil and will not work well.

A Woman I Know

I want to tell you about a woman I know.

When she walks into a room you can feel the sexuality radiate from her.

She is pleasing to the eye with her soft doe eyes, full lips and long hair.

Her body is a wonderland, perfect as a playground for lustful adventures.

Her voice is soft as so is her skin.

When she looks in your direction you can feel the heat rise in the nether regions and if she dances for you, you are done. I have watched her for many years interact with men of all ages, shapes and sizes. Rich or poor, she doesn’t care.

I watch these men try so hard to conquer her. Through manipulation of all sorts, they try to impress her, try to appeal to her nurturing side by trying to make her feel bad for them so she might try to make them feel better. They try outwitting her or intellectualize, she keeps up and surpasses them. She doesn’t bow to their egos.

She is kind and gentle but she will not diminish her self for the sake of a man’s ego. When none of the manipulation works, she is called the bitch. She is the one who has done wrong. She takes it all in stride. She has more strength of character then most men would ever think possible. She also has children whom she is the best kind of mother I have ever seen.

She raises them to be independent, not Mamas boys or weak girls but strong within them selves.

So what is she?

Is she a whore because she is very sexual?

Is she a bitch because she strong in character and intelligent, or is she a mother because she is warm and nurturing?

All of these qualities wrapped up in one woman?

I will tell you who she is...

She is a Witch.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Good Enough

Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.
Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel.
Drink up sweet decadence.
I can't say no to you and I've completely lost myself,
and I don't mind.
Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
Can't believe that I feel.
I feel good enough,
its been such a long time coming,
but I feel good and I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
To pour real life down on me,
cause I can't hold on to anything this good.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?
So take care what you ask of me cause I can't say no.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

So we'll go no more a roving

So, we’ll go no more a roving,
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we’ll go no more a roving,
By the light of the moon.
Soon as the evening shades prevail,
The moon takes up the wondrous tale,
And nightly to the listening earth,
Repeats the story of her birth.

Whilst all the stars that round her burn,
And all the planets, in their turn,
Conform the tidings as they roll,
And spread the truth from pole to pole.

A Bi-Polar Existence

There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness.

When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones.

Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people.

Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one's marrow. But, somewhere this changes. The fast ideas are too fast, and there are far too many, overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friend's faces are replaced by fear and concern.

Everything previously moving with the grain is now against....

you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and emerged totally in the blackest caves of the mind.

You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.


I honestly believe that as a result of it I have felt more things, more deeply; had more experiences, more intensely; loved more, and have been more loved...

... laughed more often for having cried more often; appreciated more the springs, for all the winters...

Depressed, I have crawled on my hands and knees in order to get across a room and have done it for month after month.

But normal or manic I have run faster, thought faster, and loved deeper than most I know.

Thoughts... again...

Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet? - L. M. Montgomery (1874-1942)

What is this doing in my thoughts on bipolar?

Don't worry - I am NOT suggesting that the beloved Canadian writer Lucy Maud Montgomery was manic depressive, or that her delightful character Anne Shirley from the Anne of Green Gables books was even the softest of soft bipolars.

However, I DO LOVE the concept "there are no mistakes in tomorrow".

It belongs in thoughts on bipolar because bipolar people know better than most the true meaning of regret and have a strong need to believe in the miracle of a new beginning.

The psychiatrist who finally correctly diagnosed me used to say it to me all the time when we first met and I was very depressed: "there are no mistakes in tomorrow".

Eventually the power of this concept sunk in - these words really did change my life! They instiled courage and optimism in me again.

Quote of the day...

Suicide is what the death certificate says when one dies of depression. - PETER D. KRAMER (1997)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Love and Sin

Christianity has done a great deal for love by making a sin of it.


There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

Death Reveals

When the body sinks into death, the essence of man is revealed. Man is a knot, a web, a mesh into which relationships are tied. Only those relationships matter. The body is an old crock that nobody will miss. I have never known a man to think of himself when dying. Never.


He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Mind Awake...

See the thoughts churning in my mind?
Can’t you see that I’m in my dream land?
I cannot just walk away…
I always walk alone.

See the colors burning in my mind?
Can’t you see the fire in my hand?
I could just throw it your way…
Instead I carry the stone.

Feel the ideas blurring in my mind?
Too many to grab I’m swaying and…
Wish I could throw them away…
I can’t they just won’t go.


Thursday, January 10, 2008


It's true, we're all a little insane.
But it's so clear, now that I'm unchained.
Fear is only in our minds,
taking over all the time.
You poor sweet innocent thing,
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me, don't deny.
One day I'm gonna forget your name.
And one sweet day,
You're gonna drown in my lost pain.
Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
You poor sweet innocent thing,
Dry your eyes and testify.
And oh you love to hate me don't you?
I'm your sacrifice.
I dream in darkness, I sleep to die.
Erase the silence, erase my life.
My burning ashes blacken the day.
A world of nothingness, blows me away.
Do you wonder why you hate?
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here,
Suppressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave,
Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have all of me.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams.
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me,
I'm all alone.

Field of Innocence

I still remember the world from the eyes of a child.
Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now.
Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world.
I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all.
I still remember the sun,
Always warm on my back.
Somehow it seems colder now.
Where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger.
I want to go back to believing in everything.
Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world.
I want to go back to believing in everything.
I still remember.....


Playground school bell rings again.
Rain clouds come to play again.
Has no one told you he´s not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to, hello.
If I smile and don´t believe,
Soon I know I´ll wake from this dream.
Don´t try to fix me, I´m not broken.
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide, don´t cry.
Suddenly I know I´m not sleeping.
Hello, I´m still here,
All that´s left of yesterday

Monday, January 7, 2008


Don't want to lock me up inside.
Don't want to forget how it feels without...
I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, my Gods, I want to let it go.
Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Don't want to lock me up inside.
Don't want to forget how it feels without...
I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go.
Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Don't want to lock me up inside.
Don't want to forget how it feels without...
...stay in love with my sorrow.
I'm gonna let it go.